Character Pattern

Once one recognizes a pattern then some things have to be considered.

1. Is this pattern good?

2. Is ANY pattern good?

I am not entirely sure what the hell I am trying to say. But there is something cool about noticing patterns.

I mean, If you can see the patterns in people's behavior then they can be manipulated.
If you don't want to be manipulated then you should stay away from repeating patterns in your behavior...
Sometimes it might even be cool to manipulate people to manipulate you.
This might be useful when dealing with character flaws that you may be unaware of.
Identifying the pattern then manipulating it to identify another pattern.

patterns can feel good. I like music.

My heartbeat is pretty freakin cool!

quilts......



 

Chasing Maybe....

                                                         
What is the deal with women? Hahahahaha, Ok sorry guys! I know we all have asked that....and the gals have also. Women actually will say "Yeah, We are all crazy" ......I mean, Why is that ok? ......I have always said....(Well not always ....but I said it a lot since I realized it) ...that if I say to a woman that all women are crazy and she agrees... then I should walk away. .........Well, I would be walking away from almost every woman..  Oh!..and I don't mean for this to sound like a bitchfest on women. I am sure guys are crazy......but I find myself not getting into intimate relationships with guys to know. I do in fact love Vag. .....Also, at this point I would like to add that ....NO!!  no woman has recently broke my heart ....No woman has recently wronged me. This is coming from a bunch of conversations and experiences throughout my whole life...And if you do think that this blog is about you.....your ARE so vain!...... The point is,  I talk to women, they say whats on their mind, I gotta hear dating stories and whatnot...........I got a topic to write about.

So, lets start with expectation.

                                                        

How do we ever know what to expect until we actually experience the future? I tend to agree with the logic of letting the winds take you where they may, and accepting, Not expecting what may be coming. I think a lot of women....(ok lets just assume that when I say women I actually mean people)..have this mold of what could be in their heads...And when they cant find the shape to fit the mold they become distraught. Well, That mold is very unique. Its incredibly hard to fit THAT mold. I say throw away the mold. Don't expect anything.  You will never find it. Instead, try to subscribe to the idea of letting go. Let go of all of what you think you know and just let it be. accept the things that are good and fun into your life. I talked to a girl recently and she was explaining to me how she was dating this guy...blah blah blah....and towards the end of the conversation she said..." I am a looking for a relationship, I am not looking for fun" ...I asked her to just listen to what she just said...she said she did....But she missed the point....Go figure. I mean, life is too short to be SO selective. I mean standards are one thing ....(I hope I get to the point)..anyways , I am also not saying to settle for less!! I am just saying.....let go. Let go of any hurtful memories or any insecure thoughts...Let love in...I think this gets to my next point. Not that I think I made my last point....But I came close.....My next point is that maybe IF one learns to let go they wont be so intrigued with.......


The Chase!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

OK, so it seems like a women isn't happy with a man unless there is some sort of chase involved. I am guessing because there is some very insecure feeling...and that when a guy chases them they feel like ...They matter!.... ain't that a shame?, I blame society, their parents, and the mean'ness of the evil teenage kids for this.. when they were in their 20's ........but, in the 30's and beyond!?!....We need to start looking WITHIN for a scapegoat... finding those causes and accepting them and letting go of them. ...Again, let it go. ....you have these situations where one person seems to like the other person more than the other person likes them...  Why?  let's face it. If a guy/girl chases you and you don't like them....you will cut if off and never talk to them again.....BUT if someone chases you and you let it linger and linger and linger..... maybe you kinda maybe might see something cool in that person.....but, what mold is it that you are trying to fill? Why do you have to let it linger? (I hate that that is a Cranberries song)  We need to look within..understand that nothing lasts forever, learn to accept change and love the uncertainty in life...and maybe if one can learn to do that ...then the things we love to chase us will be the things we love to love.

But, I dont know.....Maybe we all are just chasing Maybe........

What is relation?

I feel I am  a fairly open ...and very honest person. I feel I connect well with others. I gravitate to the interesting characters in life. I am probably not the most traveled person, but I get around.  I feel I am compassionate towards others and do what I can to help anyone that is in my life that may need help. I cant prove that God exists yet I cannot disprove it either. I am comfortable with saying....I don't know. I hope there is! But I also hope for a lot of things that aren't readily available. People are fallible, and I am content with saying I am flawed. I don't exactly know what the cause of my flaw is or more importantly WHAT my flaw is. I DO know that there is this feeling that is deep beneath the surface that stabs at me from time to time that assures me to the fact that Vince is flawed. I love life, Life is so very beautiful and any cliche that you can drop into this text that applies...its all that!! I realize that! I own that! I love that! ........................................................I feel alone.

I rarely call my family....well, I virtually NEVER call my family. And by family I mean the one I was born into. Not the one I created. I feel I was too responsible to do such a thing. I felt that one cannot bring a child into this world without knowing oneself fully. I feel one cannot commit them self to someone without being completely at one with their own consciousnesses....   Its an exercise in futility. But I have tried! I am comfortable with opening myself to a stranger yet I cannot call my grandmother and tell her how deeply I feel for her. I cannot feel comfortable with telling my sister that I love her. I cant talk to my mother and show any amount of the compassion, the same compassion I am so proud to say I can give. I am my father's only son and I am not much closer to him than I am a casual friend.

Is relation relative? and why do I not relate to my relatives?

Lies

The reason people lie could be driven by compassion but also selfishness. Say for instance I am married. I go out with some friends one night meet another woman and sleep with her. OK, Now when my wife asks me what I did the previous night I tell her some other random story other than the truth. I just lied. I did this I believe for a few reasons. I don't want her to feel hurt or upset, I dont want a divorce and I must really be into my wife since she is my wife. Maybe I was at a weak point...I don't know because I would never be in this situation. I probably will never be married because I am too honest. In the dating stage I would probably make some comment about some other girl that would make her fragile ego crumble and crawl away. But I believe these thoughts are just that. I happen to put them into words that may seem harsh, however its the truth and I feel its the only way to remain honest with myself and others constantly. I believe its when these things are bottled up is when they turn into actions. Isn't the real goal understanding? not ego boosting. To understand one another is ultimately what we all want. We want to be understood and we hopefully are curious to understand the people and events around us. Maybe that's it, Its the lack of wanting to understand. I lied to my wife because first of all I was too cowardly to talk to her about my feelings, And I was afraid of her reaction because I know that she wouldn't understand. However, All could have been avoided if both parties knew that the other would accept anything they had to say. Good or bad. Also to be able to sit down and try and understand and to express yourself deeply with one another. I know from personal experience its difficult to open yourself and become vulnerable. There are lot of insecurities and thoughts of what people will think of you. But, once that is overcome life is so super cool afterwards.

So, it seems people tell lies because they are to cowardly to open themselves and because they don't want to hurt the person they are telling the lie to. It just seems like the lies hurt worse than the truth. So in sparing someones feelings with a lie it would hurt far less to tell the truth.

Jury Duty.......In July.

Over the past few weeks its become increasingly clear that people as a collective are complete morons. I am gonna just come right out and say it. I dont care about Casey Anthony and her kid. YES! it is a complete tragedy and ANY time a life is taken its a sad event.

However,

I see how the media gives their point of view and everybody had her in the electric chair before the Jury was selected. Should we over haul the justice system to where police officers just shoot someone instead of arresting and putting them to trial? Should we have angry mobs stone people to death? If these sound like logical solutions, than humanity has not progressed at all in the last 10,000 years. 

The passion people feel for this case is tremendous! While our government, big business and world banks are all driving us lower and lower under their thumb the media is choosing one case to distract you from the things you should actually be concerned with. Teachers, policemen and firemen are all under attack while the people attacking and propagating are making more and more money year after year exponentially.  Blood thirsty Christians all vengefully hoping for the death of a life. This all is one huge hypocritical redundant cycle that could end with just a bit of reason and compassion. 

It's easy to watch the show on TV. The tragedy thrills the audience. We survive off of the vicarious horror. ( I am just gonna go ahead cite the song "Vicarious" by Tool now) 

The fact is, We were not in that courtroom, most of us only got the media's perspective on the case. the jurors were not watching the media. All they had was the case and the evidence to go on. they obviously ALL agreed without any media spin. So, until you can say that you did not watch any news reporting and the ONLY information you had was what was brought up in court. Shut Up! Seriously, Shut your mouth about things you don't understand. And if you do see the expanded view of this entire situation you then can take this logic and apply it to other areas....Maybe everything else the media tells us is just to influence our opinion to better serve some kind of rating money making divisive propaganda machine. ALL media! CNN, NBC,FOX, etc...

It's sad to say that this type of thing about the little Anthony kid happens ALL day EVERYDAY. Where is the love and the compassion and sorrow and candle vigils for all these other children? Because if this Anthony case wasn't forced down your throats day after day, you wouldn't care. So, Everybody, please get off your extremely high horse and place your passion and energy into something that actually matters in and around your own life. You will make more of a difference and impression if you do. 

Modes of control

God, Politics and love.

These are all non-tangible things that are used as devices to keep us "in line". Who's line? Obviously not YOURS! You just stand in it waiting for your salvation. The above named things are born of greed and deceit. These things are used to make you subservient to manipulators. To keep you meek while the greedy take what they want from you. These things don't have emotions, They don't care. Does a wrench or a screwdriver have thoughts? You are made to think these things have some significance in your life. This significance is an illusion that keeps you driven to the ground. Turn the other cheek and don't fight back. Do not use your voice to speak your mind. Do you choose the church or the mosque, the red or the blue, the man or the woman? Its a game you play while the gears of deception are spinning to take every  bit of strength from your body. Your a slave with no real thoughts of your own while you acquire vertigo from these false doctrines. Wake up from this brainwashing. Formulate ideas and act them out on your own. Trust only in yourself. 

Obviously compassion for others rules all, However I feel as though the 3 items I named only devalue compassion. Only through these things people segregate themselves and fight one another. I say throw these things to the wayside and come together. Maybe without worrying about where we fit in these things we can find our true self. We can be able to see who we truly are without fitting into this mold.We can then express ourselves and be heard. And maybe then will we know that those non-tangible things are in fact tangible through ourselves. 

Driving with a Donut.

So, I got this pretty cool car. I like it. It's a Honda Fit. Really cool in every way. great gas mileage, I can transport all of my music gear along with a large list of other things.

I like the color.

Its orange.

It serves me well.

However, there is this issue with the tires. They keep blowing out. This is probably due to the combination of Cleveland weather's effect on the roads, Low profile aluminum alloy rims and operator neglect. I suppose in the near future I should acquire some other size rim for this vehicle. that should work.

Now, as was driving with the donut for several days (because the tire happens to be pretty scarce around these parts) I noticed a connection between life and traffic( there are many connections and analogies I think of a lot when I drive). I had to drive slower due to the fact that I was driving on such a puny rubber circle. I mean, its lasted a lot longer than the main tires on the car! Anyway, I also allowed for time to get to places. I noticed as I was driving and all these large fast cars were whizzing by me. I then realized that I was content. I saw SUV's competing for first place to a destination of no concern to me. I knew I would make it to my destination on time. I noticed landmarks around me and I had no stress whatsoever. I didn't care that the aggressive drivers were all competing with one another. I wasn't competition I was just an obstacle for the for the warriors of the road to avoid. And that made me happy. I observed how my life is very much the same way. I am sure everyone has been caught in a road rage event at some point in their life, whether it be on the road or not. Taking extra time to just ease back and relax and appreciate the world around you without getting caught up with keeping up with the Jones's or over compensating for your insecurities by cutting off others seems like it would greatly improve ones quality of life.